Hayatan Tayyibah

In the name of Allaah, Most Beneficent and Most Merciful

Hakeemul Ummat Hadhrat Moulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi Rahmatullahi Allai in his book Aadabul Muaasharaat has mentioned the following etiquettes of Salaam.

• In a gathering where a talk or discussion is taking place, the person entering should not draw attention to himself by making salaam. He should not interfere in the talk. He should lower his gaze and silently sit down. When later the opportunity arises, he should make Salaam.

• Adopt the practice of mutual salaam. Whenever meeting a Muslim, say: Assalamualaikum. In reply say Walaikumus Salaam. All other ways are baseless.

• When a person conveys the Salaams of another to you, reply: Alayhim Wa Alaikumus Salaam. This is best. If someone replies: Walaikumus Salaam, It will also suffice.

• One person of the group making Salaam will be representative of the whole group. His Salaam will be adequate on behalf of the group. Similarly, if from the gathering one person replied, it will suffice on behalf of the whole gathering.

• The one initiates the Salaam obtains greater thawaab (reward).

• When replying to the Salaam of a person, the Salaam should be made verbally, not by a sign of the hand or a nod of the head.

• Better repayment for a favour will be when the repayment is somewhat more than the act of favour rendered. Thus, the reply should be more than the Salaam (greeting). If Assalamualaikum was said, the better reply will be Walaikumus Salaam Warahmatullah. If Wa Barakaatuhu is also added it will be an added merit.

• It is Wajib (obligatory) to reply to the Salaam which is written in a letter. This reply may be in writing or verbally.

• The Fuqaha have said that in a reply to the Salaam which is written in a letter, one may say Alaikumus Salaam or even Assalamu Alaikum.

• In a letter in which a dua is written, the Salaam should be written first since this is the sunnah method.

• Instead of writing or saying the Salaam, to say any other term or to adopt the greeting of any other community is bidah. Such an alien greeting is in fact alteration of the Shariah.

• A person who is engrossed in a conversation or in some work should not be greeted. The new-comer should not intrude with his hand-shaking. Such an act is uncultured and causes distress to others.

• It is Makrooh (Abominable  – disliked) to greet a person involved in deeni or natural activity. Thus, to make Salaam to a person eating is Makrooh while it is not Makrooh (Abominable  – disliked) to engage in conversation while eating.

• It is not permissible to bow and make salaam.

• Before entering a house or any place of privacy it is necessary to seek permission. Do not enter without permission.

• Stand outside and proclaim the Salaam, then ask permission in any language. Use such terms which convey the full meaning. However, as far as the Salaam itself is concerned only the terms of Shariah should be used.

• When answering the call of nature neither reply to anyone’s Salaam nor offer Salaam.

• On promising to convey a person’s Salaam it becomes wajib to do so, otherwise not.

• When making Salaam to elders adopt a low voice. Do not express your self in such terms which convey arrogance or disrespect.